bloggers_anonymous

Blog Rage. Is it Really All The Rage?

We at Bloggers Anonymous would like to call attention to a very unfortunate yet very real phenomenon happening across the blogosphere known as Blog Rage perpetrated by Blog Raging Bloggers (BRB).  It’s a serious problem with deadly consequences.  In order to underscore this issue, we would like to reference “recovered” Blog Ragaholic J.D. Matthews.  J.D. Has long since overcome his problem by starting a blog about music.  After all—they say that music soothes the savage beast.  He’s put together a list of signs that might indicate you have a problem.  Since it’s coming from someone who knows about the devastations of this disorder, we urge you to take this to heart.

Top 10 Signs that you might be a Blog Ragaholic:

10:  You own a voodoo doll that says "Die, Seth Godin, die!"

9:  You post a YouTube of you kickboxing it out with a cardboard cut-out of Robert Scoble

8:  You sold the email address of everyone on your blog roll to Nigerian
Advance Fee Fraud Emailers

7:  Your last post was the lyrics to Drowning Pools' "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor."

6:  Gilbert Gottfried, Bob Knight, and Tom Cruise all left you a comment and told you to chill out.

5:  You do “drive by” commenting—leaving malicious comments and leaving the chaos for other to clean up.

4:  Within the course of one day your IP is banned by Wordpress, Typepad, Myspace, Blogger, Facebook, Friendster, and your own ISP.

3:  Ann Handley and Mack Collier refuse to let you into their community.

2:  You read Bloggers Anonymous and want to hurt the first person you see.

1:  You are forced to frequent obscure blogs such as “fungusfetish.com” because they are desperate for comments.  Even angry ones.

Note: J.D. "pursuaded" several BA staffers to post this, and after seeing his last comment—we thought it would be a good idea to just do as he said.

The "Mock 10" Signs of Blog Addiction

At Bloggers Anonymous—we normally frown upon spreading propaganda that minimizes the serious nature of our cause.  However, in the name of education and awareness, we would like to point to the this juvenile “Top 10” list of “symptoms” which indicate you may be a addicted to blogging.  We will not reveal the authors as to not credit them in any way.  Please be aware that this ignorance is out there—and defeating the spirit of our cause.

10. You check your blog stats a LOT. You occasionally get up in the middle of the night and sneak a peak.

9. Your significant other suspects you are having an affair with your blog. Even when you’re alone with your special person, you do find yourself thinking what your blog might be doing right then…

8. You “mental blog” while driving or on the train, and sometimes even when you are alone in the shower.

7. You filter everything through your post-writing. You can’t watch a movie, see a play, read an article, or share a sweet moment with your child without thinking of whether it’s blog-worthy.

6. You suffer from “blog envy” when another blogger posts something juicy before you do. You suffer “comment envy” when said post gets 40-something comments – the jerk!

5. You “binge blog” 3 or 4 posts at once—only to feel guilty and empty afterward.

4. You ditched all your real friends for blog friends, because, well, “they understand.” You bypass Bowling Alone at the bookstore (who really cares?) while you reach for Naked Conversations.

3. You think, “I can stop at any time.”

2. Your lunch hour has become your “blog hour.” You keep a few posts tucked in your desk in case you need them during the day.

1. After 5 minutes of meeting someone really interesting you ask, “So - do you blog?”

I'm with the Blog: Confessions of a Bloupie

I get shivers whenever I see those old Web 1.0 sites, with their one-entry-at-a-time style, no trackbacks, no comments. How did people communicate back then? How could show your love? What was life like before blogging? How does anyone get through the day without checking Kottke’s Remaindered Links? Or seeing what hot new start-up TechCrunch is giving props to? What is Megnut cooking this week? Where is Frank Bruni dining? Has Dave Winer quit blogging yet, like he said he would 10 gazillion years ago? Who’s hot and who’s not? Pinging Technorati and Google vanity searches take up a lot of time. Why can’t I get on the best blogrolls? When will I be an A-lister? Maybe if I find a way to sit near Scoble at brunch. . . I wonder if I can get Hugh McCleod to do a sketch for me?

Blogapathy Rampant in Blog Community

“Hey—did you watch the Bush/Blair press conference”? 
—“Uhhh—I think I was working on some posts that night”... 

It’s a conversation all too common throughout the blog community.  Blogapathy—a condition caused by excessive blogging leaves little time for keeping up with current events and pop culture.  “It’s like—I don’t even care anymore what goes on in the world—unless it affects my blog”—says one individual who’s identity we are protecting for privacy. 

Blogapathy is especially prevalent in the younger generation who traditionally tend to ignore world events—but are now tuning out once popular networks like MTV.  “What’s the TV supposed stand for?” says one youth “I know the M is for music, but the T and V?—I should Google this...”.

Hard to believe—but this is what we're seeing with both young and older bloggers alike.  With Blogapathy spreading so rapidly—one has to wonder what repercussions there will be in the long term.  But the real question is—will anyone care?

BAD T-Shirts Are Here

Whose Problem Is It?

We at BlogAnon embrace different points of view—no matter how small minded and un-informed.  We pride ourselves in keeping our Blog Ego (BLEGO) in check.  In the spirit of polite discourse—we embrace this extremist viewpoint from Ann Handley.

"Listen up, friends. Blogging is not a disease; it’s a lifestyle. What’s more, it’s one that you’ve truly chosen and embraced. 

Societal pressure is intense, isn’t it? People always trying to make you what you’re not, trying to make you feel like there’s nothing wrong with them, suggesting it’s YOU who has a problem? 

It’s bunk, friends. Don’t buy it. Frankly, family is overrated."

Blog Intervention

It's difficult to watch this—but necessary in order to understand the disease.  Selina is one of the million individuals who need our help.  She doesn’t even know it.  Please take her cry for help seriously—what’s needed here is intervention, not apathy.

Twelve Steps To Blog Addiction Recovery (BAR)

There is no cure for Blog Addiction.  But there is recovery.  We call this proecss Blog Recovery Basics (BRB) fueled by our unique 12 step program:

   1. We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our blogs had become unmanageable
   2. Came to believe that a Sys Admin greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
   3. Made a decision to turn our blogs, logins and passwords over to a trusted third party
   4. Made a searching and fearless content inventory of our blogs
   5. Admitted to Bloglines, to Feedburner and Technorati being the exact nature of our overposting
   6. Were entirely ready to have the RSS and Atom feeds removed from our sites
   7. Humbly asked our blogroll to remove links to us
   8. Made a list of all blogs we had linked, and became willing to delete them all
   9. Made chmods to our directories wherever possible
  10. Continued to take content inventory and when we were tempted to blog, promptly admitted it
  11. Sought through coffee and Tivo to improve our time offline and resolved to not check our Technorati rankings more than once a day
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

For further information—please contact Gabby Hon, VP BRB, North America.

Open Letter to Marketing Profs

It’s come to our attention that Marketing Profs, has taken the unfortunate position of mocking Blog Addiction.  Blog Addiction is a very serious and very real condition wreaking havoc in families across the globe.  We at Bloggers Anonymous do not condone this type of behavior and are sad to see that there are professional organizations out there making light of Blog Addiction, Compulsive Blogger Syndrome (CBS)  And Accute Blog Compulsion (ABC). 

Bloggers Anonymous would like to take this opportunity to encourage those suffering from this unfortunate affliction—to boycott Marketing Profs and related sites.  We regret taking this O’Reillyan action—but see no other alternatives. We will be happy to lift this boycott if Marketing Profs publishes a complete apology on their blog.

Please Join us in our cause.
The staff at Bloggers Anonymous.