Fathers + Sons

Paul Armano was born in Polizzi Generosa, Italy in 1936.  Like many immigrants —he came to America looking for a better life.  And he gave us that life—working pretty much every job you could imagine until eventually opening his own business as a barber.  Here I ask him "what's the secret"?  His answer is simple:

"You gotta dig."

You can just make out the slight chuckle in my voice as I repeat his reply.  But like many fathers—dad has a wisdom that's not always as obvious as his answers may initially seem.  When I planted last year's garden—I didn't go nearly as deep as he did.  Not even half as much.  And the plants didn't do very well.  Sometimes the obvious isn't always... obvious.  But my dad, the barber wasn't finished teaching me that day.  He also taught me that we can connect without words.  Later that afternoon we went out and bought a chainsaw of all things.  We have trees on our property that needed some large, dead branches to be cut down.  So we spent  a good portion of the afternoon doing just that. 

It's probably something I'll always remember—and we barely spoke a word.

Dad and I haven't always gotten along.  Not an unusual story—many fathers + sons have difficulties relating.  But there comes a point when you look at the bigger picture and you realize how short life is—and you make choices.

And those choices make all the difference.
   

Comments

[CK]

Happy Father's Day to your father (I dig him ;-). You know choices are based on values and your values are in all the right places.

Also...happy Dad's day to YOU. Enjoy the day with your beautiful family. Happy for you.

[mindblob]

David,
I feel connected to your post for many reasons. Wisdom. Obvious not being always obvious. Then reading this post from my parent's house, out in the country where we spend the weekend.
Some words our fathers may say, fly through time and come back to us "one day". They are precious, so is time we may spend with them.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Happy father's and Dad's day!
Luc.

[Valeria Maltoni]

David,

What a wonderful way to pay homage to your father... and you are, I'm sure, a loving father yourself. I was lucky enough to be able to talk with my father today, and to tell him how he inspired me to love art. I told him I would post about him -- I'm sure he is proud even if he doesn't own a computer.

[Drew McLellan]

David,

How true your dad's words are.

Life is all about that -- digging deep enough to plant roots. Digging deep enough to build a strong foundation and taking the time to dig deep -- to go beyond what is expected or okay to something better.

Sounds like a very wise man who understands life's lessons. A good dad to emulate. You and your boys are fortunate -- enjoy each other today!

Drew

[Gavin Heaton]

Nice one DA. As you say, relationships are not all about words -- it is also about BEING and about shared experience. It's about taking a deep breath and breathing in the same air and feeling the same satisfaction.

[Tim Jackson]

Damn you DArmano! Did it to me again!

Great post, friend. Yes, our fathers (parents) give us little nuggets of gold all the time- without us ever knowing it, until we realize the full value when we least expect to.

I had a somewhat melancholy conversation on the phone with my dad today. He just seemed a little "blue". We talked about work- he's a workaholic (no surprise where I get it from)- and how it is stressing him out too much now. Two huge companies joining together can be a real mess. Anyway, in the end, he stated that if they reassign him to a job he finds onerous, he's close enough to retirement to be able to just walk away from the only job he's had for 38 years. Life's too short to put up with stuff you don't like sometimes. At first I was just sad for him because I know how much he likes his work and how proud he is of what he's done over the years. But now, I realize the wisdom of being able to recognize when you've had enough and done enough to be able to let something go... even if you really would prefer not to.

Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's.

[DA]

Thanks everyone. Fathers day was nice. We soaked up some rays at the local pool, had a couple of family meals and I took max for a ride around the corner.

True to form my Dad and I had a short conversation on the phone. Guess I'll have to wait till the next time we need some garden help. ;)

Tim, thanks for sharing so much about your dad. I hope it works out for him. It's always tough being in a spot where you feel like you are giving more than you're getting.

Funny how our parents model stuff for us for better and worse. My parents had a nutty work ethic too. Totally rubbed off on me.

[Lewis Green]

David,

Great post and thank you for sharing the video. Happy Father's Day to you and your Dad!

[Dawud Miracle]

Hey David

I'm a little late for Father's Day...but from one dad to another...Happy Father's Day.

I love the simple wisdom that comes through people when we really listen to what they're saying. And it seems the more life we live, the more we offer simple gems like 'you gotta dig.' How true for every part of our lives.

Thank you, my friend, for sharing this one...

[Ann Handley]

DA -- just saw this now. What rich stuff. I love your slightly puzzled response: "...cool." Runner-up for best line: "I don't like tomatoes."

Really.. this is simply awesome.

[Mary Wallace]

Love the kid, 'I don't like tomatos' to the wise grandpa. Telling his little truth, feeling safe saying it even though grandpa is digging deep to plant them...