Neighbors + Neighborhoods

I spent the first seven years of my life growing up in Ozone Park, Queens NY. While it wasn't the majority of my childhood experience, I still remember it vividly. Specifically one thing stood out in my memories. 

I grew up in a neighborhood.

Our neighbors were close knit, mostly Italian or Irish and we came from similar backgrounds. This bonded us, we lived in connected homes with a staircase separating an upper and lower level. We shared food and household items. No-one thought twice about knocking on a door for eggs, milk, or to borrow a vacuum cleaner. When there were power outages (for some reason there were a lot of these during the summers in the 70s), we all took the food out of our freezers and prepared feasts to share with one another, knowing that since the food would spoil, we might as well enjoy it together.

Yesterday, I was literally schooled in the ways the Web can emulate the type of neighborhood I knew as a child. In marketing circles the word community has unfortunately been marginalized. What we are really talking about here is neighborhoods. These neighborhoods are digital—yes, but very real. We've seen them come through again and again. And yet, I am still stunned by the generosity, and ferocity at which the neighborhood rallied around a cause to help a single family that could not find help.

As of this moment, you the people in this collective neighborhood have come to the aid of this family, raising over $12,000.00 in significantly under 24 hours ($15,082.60, in less than 2 days).  This is astounding, audacious and ridiculously hopeful. Belinda and I would like to thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Right now we have a Pay Pal account set up with a card and she will use that to pay for her rent. I can't believe that you've made this possible. We are also getting an education on donations, so if you have ideas or experience in this area—leave a comment here.  Let's get this straight. This is a good problem to have.


Another thing about this neighborhood who lives in the land we call "social media" is how tightly we are bound and evidence you can see all around this. Last night, all of us including Daniela sat in awe as my Tweetdeck went off all night long. Within hours, we saw her name rise to the number one spot of trending topics beating out CES and Apple's product announcement. Translation? A LOT of you were talking about this and I was at a loss for words for how to explain this phenomenon to Daniela. In short, the ripples were spreading like mad.

Thank you again for everything you've done. If you coulnd't donate, PLEASE do not feel badly. Everyone played a part in helping this spread and we are getting a lot of support in all kinds of ways. On that note, it may take a while for us to get back to you. We're a bit overwhelmed.  Just know that you've done a great thing. You've touched 4 lives. You've influenced them. And we're all in this neighborhood together.

Comments

[uberbabyboomer]

This has been a wonderful thing to watch;I too grew up in a community like yours & in a church where my dad was the priest and saw him move his congregation to do what you did. My thoughts about the extra $ would be to give it to domestic violence programs in your area. I have twittered my idea earlier this morning. Also, to honor you and Daniela, I have asked via twitter to give to similar programs in your own communities. With the economic downturn, there will be many, many more Daniela's. My influence is far less than yours, but I decided to give it a try! Again, you have warmed my heart. Thank you for that.

[Luc Debaisieux]

David,
I think this wave of solidarity leaves many of us breathless. Maybe we all belong to the same neighborhood... because it is not a zone or a space, but rather a genuine human feeling we share once something touches our hearts on the right frequency. Thank you for leading us all through this.

[Dave Shelleny]

David:
This is the way we are supposed to use these social media tools, and this is how we are supposed to behave. Thank you for being the catalyst!

[Amy]

Thank you for welcoming us all into your neighborhood. You and your family did something wonderful and you truly displayed the impact that one person's kindness can have on another.

There are two ways of spreading light - to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. ~Edith Wharton

[Connie Reece]

I couldn't quit watching TweetDeck last night -- I knew something marvelous was taking place and was so happy to be a part of it. This is how you defeat homelessness -- one family at a time. Oh, yes, there is a need for government assistance. And private charities. Absolutely! But nothing can replace the old-fashioned concept of community and knowing that we *are* "our brother's (sister's) keeper." THANK YOU, David and Belinda for your generosity of spirit. It was greatly rewarded last night, and Daniela's family (and yours) will never be the same.

[Fred Sampson]

David-
I am not a CPA, but my understanding of the limits on gifts is it's per-person/per-person; that is, you could give Daniela $11k, your wife could give her $11k, you could probably do the same with gifts to the kids (although that might require a UTMA for each. . .). Point is, there are ways to stretch the proceeds without tax consequences.
-Good work!
-Fred

[Baron]

David,

What an exciting idea and great way to kick off '09 to make things better - 1 person at a time. Thanks getting it started last night.

baron

[Stephen R. Smith]

Having a vast network of people who trust you has no greater value than when you can leverage that trust to do real good in the real world. This is networked humanity at its best; a large number of people who care about someone they've never met, and likely never will, offering to help because they all know you wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.

You made my day, and I think each of our days by offering an opportunity to pitch in, and that feeling of good that each of us got is amplified a thousand times for a mother and her children. Fantastic!

[Heather Rast]

It was a beautiful, inspiring thing to watch unfold. It is humbling to contribute to the quality of life for four deserving people, and to help enable them to begin a better life. This is compounded when I think of the personal strength and fortitude Daniela must have to make the decision to change her life.

I'm thankful for this opportunity to learn--last night we saw humanity and compassion propagate wildly--something I haven't seen happen on the news in awhile.

We're all humbled to have participated; even outlying observers can have their faith in the power of touch renewed.

[Jennifly Green]

Hi David,

What a honorable move to invite a family to live with you. I am humbled by your post, and hope this example of true community can inspire us all.

[Bill]

My yard is the only one with a fence in my neighborhood. It’s an old chain-link fence that traces the perimeter line of our property isolating our little plot from the surrounding yards.

My wife said that she was speaking to our next door neighbor the other day, an older man who has lived in the same house his entire life, and he mentioned that during WWII the town instituted an ordinance prohibiting the construction of any backyard fences. The reasoning behind this, he said, was that since there were so many fathers and husbands fighting over seas the town wanted to encourage and foster a sense of community in each neighborhood. Families would congregate in the backyards each evening to have picnics and offer support to each other; a hand to hold, a friend to talk to, a shoulder to cry on. Our neighbor said that the effect on the community was so unifying that after the war the town never retracted the zoning ordinance. Our fence, he told us, was the only one erected pre-war and was therefore grandfathered.

The town recognized not just the need but also the potential for bringing people together to create a community of effort and made a bold move to do something about it. By simply preventing barriers to be put up between people the results were closer friendships, unified neighborhoods and an overall stronger community.

I loved this post and am humbled by how you and 400 others brought your fences down to help Daniella and her family. Perhaps it's time I take down my own.

[June Holley]

Couple of things. First, I wouldn't directly give the money to Daniella as her husband, I believe, would still have rights to the money. If he found out about it, he might well wheedle it out of her. You could work out other arrangements--pay bills, give her cash more frequently, etc

Also, you might want to spend time with her (or find someone who is a vocational counselor) to talk with her about her long term strategy: this money can help her reach long tem independence if she uses it to help her get an education and access to a better paying job. When you have kids, problem husband, it's INCREDIBLY difficult to pull off getting an education, so she will need lots of support.

Finally, a word to all those who gave. There are MILLIONS of people like Daniella and we need to figure out ways to help them all! There are things you can do as an individual--but first you have to find people you are moved to help directly, and that's not easy because we tend to live very segregated by class. In most cases, giving money is not helpful. I hire a young man whose wife is dying (they have 3 small kids), has a DUI and can't drive or hold a regular job, as a gardener/yard man. He has built skills and pride, and I pay him really well. I've pledged to help another very low-income young man from troubled family with college expenses.

We can also work as a community to develop strategies for long-term support that helps families (almost always need to work with more than an individual).

[Liz]

Your comments make a great deal of sense, June. Not only about helping others but of getting some sensible advice or counseling to help Daniela create a better future for herself and her children. I guess the giving was the dramatic response to need and now comes the less dramatic planning for a new future.

[Clinton David Skakun]

This is an inspiration for all of us.

You planted the seed David, and then everyone brought water. Now a family can survive.

All I can say is, I'm glad to be a part of this neighborhood:)

Regards
Clinton

[BonnieL]

David, you touched the emotions of the digital neighborhood by inviting #daniela and her children into your home. Your giving shows an example of what makes a social network work - do, don't say.

bonnieL
triiibe on!

[Jeannette]

A similar online community fundraising of sorts was also done on yelp San Francisco in 2006, via the talk forums. A yelper's profile (Kristina R. from San Francisco) had postings of the artwork created by her 2nd grade students. Someone had mentioned that the art was so good that she should auction the art to raise funds for her school, and Project Not Normal Yes Normal was started.

Yelpers volunteered to silkscreen one of the kids' posters on a t-shirt, purchase the shirts and sell them all on yelp via paypal. An outpouring of support came from the yelp community. The funds from the shirts went to Kristina R.'s cause.

You can follow the thread here:
http://twurl.nl/7o4wo6

It was then that I realized how powerful the online community can be. This has not been repeated on yelp, at least not in the SF bay area that I've been aware of.

[Chris]

It appears the L+E tribe has spoken... I mean ROARED! Wonderful!!!

[BillyGadol]

2009 is all about community and helping our brothers and sisters in need. We are all merely passengers on this wild ride through time and space.

[Alberto Cottica]

I am not sure we can attribute this to a sense of solidarity for Daniela - though of course all my sympathy goes to her. Like BonnieL, I think the real driving force behind this was David and his family: a normal guy, your "net neighbour", someone whose blog you read. No larger-than-life hero, just some guy like you and me. Yet this person opens his house to a woman in need and her children, and puts himself and his family on the line of fire.

If he's done it, we ought to be something too, right? Well done, David, well done to everyone involved.

I blogged about this (in Italian, sorry!) :-)

[Pauline Draper]

David - This reminds me of the starfish story.
A wise man used to go to the ocean to do his writing. One day he was walking along the shore where he saw a boy reaching down, picking up small objects and throwing them into the ocean. He asked what the boy was doing. The boy paused, looked up and replied "Thowing starfish into the ocean." When the wise man asked why, the boy responded "The tide is out, the sun is up and if I don't they will die." The wise man looked and commented "But there are miles and miles of beach and starfish everywhere - you cannot possibly make a difference." At this the boy bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the ocean. As it hit the water he said "but it made all of the difference for that one." Thank you for being prepared to make a difference and taking others with you on the journey!

[kathy]

Thanks for what you did to help this family. Thanks for letting us be a part of it, so you and yours didn't have to bear the burden alone. Thanks for giving us the opportunity to be just a little bit better and do a little bit more today. Thanks for reminding us all what community really means.

My goodness, if this is what can happen 7 days into '09, imagine what can be done with the remaining 358?

Inspiring.

[SEO blog]

It was a beautiful, inspiring thing to watch unfold. It is humbling to contribute to the quality of life for four deserving people, and to help enable them to begin a better life.

[Christa]

Hey, I was born in Queens! My family was born and raised there, and even though I didn't experience neighborhood for myself, I grew up with enough of the stories to understand what you mean.

Thank you for asking outsiders to come into your neighborhood, and for welcoming us so generously. I can't add much to what everyone else has said, as I feel the same. Just wishing continued blessings to Daniela and her family - and to you and your family as well.

[Blake Cahill]

David - this is so genuine. Nice work. All I can say.

Best,

Blake

[Josie Dowd in Tampa]

David and Belinda,
I am so impressed by you and Belinda's love and compassion to mankind. It really shows just how much human care and devotion both you and Belinda have by taking in Daniela and her family to help them get back on their feet. Hopefully because of your action they will be able to live the American dream. I looked and listened to your presentation about "Brand U.O" and believe me I was more than impressed. You have certainly grown into an inspiring, charming and very intelligent young man, or should I say "brand." You and Belinda are gracious people and your boys are so very lucky the have you as their parents. I'm certain that Rina and Paul are quite proud. Thanks for sharing your life with us and you will hear from us further.
Our Love, Josie and Larry

[Allen]

I think what you did was amazing. So great to see the blogosphere and social media doing some good. Its a refreshing change from the "monetization" paradigm embodied by the Joseph Jaffe's of the world ... pitching for free iphones, cameras and money from retailers.

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